In my sociology class, we have spent some time talking about how culture is broken up into two sections: material culture and nonmaterial culture. Material culture is fairly self-explanatory. It includes “objects created in a given society” (Anderson & Taylor, 54), and is apparent to on-lookers. Nonmaterial culture isn’t as visible. The norms and values shared by each specific culture aren’t tangible – they aren’t even concrete. Many of them are simply assumed or implied.
As children we learn to watch our parents and the other people around us, and we mimic them. By doing so, we get general ideas about the nonmaterial aspects of culture. How else other than observation and imitation would we learn things such as waiting one’s turn in line or appropriate body language or ways of speech for certain situations? For example, my parents never explicitly told me whom to hug upon seeing, but I have learned over time that with people like friends and family that is the appropriate greeting. However, if I were to greet a teacher or a waitress at a restaurant, a hug would not be fitting. In coming to Dallas from Chicago, I realized that nonmaterial culture varies from location to location. In Dallas, it is expected that boys will hold open doors for girls, but in Chicago if I were to wait for someone to open the door for me people would find it strange and somewhat pretentious. Also, the use of the words “ma’am” and “sir” are much more prevalent in the south – in Chicago it make come across as somewhat sarcastic.
3 comments:
Chelsea, I have definitely noticed this difference too. People in Dallas are so friendly and go out of their way to open doors and stop their cars so you can cross the street. I live in the Northeast and let me just say, that never happens at home. I've seen people get almost run over by a car who just can't seem to wait 2 seconds for the pedestrian to cross. Don't pedestrians always have the right of way anyways? I think it is very refreshing that boys and girls in the south are so well-mannered. I miss it when I visit home because we sort of get spoiled by it here. The other day I was in Umphrey Lee and an older man cut me and my friend in line for the soda machine. Once he realized what he had done, he jumped back and said "oh my gosh, I am so sorry ladies I didn't see you there. Please go ahead of me! My wife would be so mad at me for my behavior. I am so so sorry!" My friend and I assured him that it wasn't a big deal but thanked him for letting us go. I didn't know this man. He could have been having a really bad day or he could have been giving talks all day and really needed a drink. Yet he had been taught to act like a gentlemen and so he did just that.
I am a Georgia boy, and I have been brought up to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir," and I find that sometimes people are thrown off when they hear me say it. Sometimes when I wait up to hold the door for someone, it is if they think it is not only unnecessary but weird that I would do that. I find your post very interesting Chelsea because I have made the same observation, except I am on the other end of the spectrum.
I think the older or more high-status person should initiate any hugging. Coming from Ohio, my family was all American manners. Suburban, not rural. But then I met a lot of people who had lived in Europe, especially France, where hugging a friend is a more common greeting, like at the start of a dinner party. But I went to a luncheon at a high-status woman's house at SMU, who was not into this habit, and my attempt to give her a little hug upon greeting was clearly not welcomed. So if you are younger and less powerful, wait for the hugs to come to you first. Otherwise, just extend your hand or smile and say hi.
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